She manages to pick up a few words. With every new word the fear consumes her heart. “…Massive Floods…..Overnight Flight….Assam…..Must help…” With that the line went dead. The mug of coffee Rebecca’s holding falls from her hand, crashing down to the floor, splashing its contents all over, but she doesn’t stop to look at the mess. She rushes to the television, quickly switching it on to the morning news, her heart sinking as the pretty reporter reads the headlines. “Officials have reported almost one million people in the north-eastern state of Assam; have been forced to leave their homes due to extreme flooding caused by heavy monsoon rains that have been battering Assam for the past fortnight. Twenty-one of 27 districts have been inundated by flood waters, reports say at least 27 people have died in flood-related incidents; five of them drowning after their boat sank in a swollen river. The death toll is expected to rise.” Rebecca’s ears can no longer take in the words, her eyes. My blow had doubled her over, knocked the spit from her mouth and she staggered. The blow sent a shock through my arm and into my heart and I felt again how she had destroyed me. Maybe she hadn’t meant to and she hadn’t done it spitefully or out of malice but she’d destroyed me nonetheless, slowly and painfully as I watched it happen, unable to stop it. She had made me her friend and told me hardly anything about them but just enough, letting my imagination feed on itself, and it had, consuming myself in a pyre of self-doubt and self-contempt. She fell to her knees and raised her face as if to show me where I’d hit her, proud, tenacious. She was always tenacious, ready to take the next blow if I wanted to give it and I saw then that this wouldn’t change anything. Slapping her wouldn’t change anything, hurting her wouldn’t change a damned thing, wouldn’t change her love for him or the stubbornness in her heart, wouldn’t bring Cormac back or change the course of our lives or undo my.
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